Seahawks Take Water Polo Player In NFL Draft First Round

RENTON, WA – Surprising NFL draft analysts, the Seattle Seahawks on Thursday night selected Virginia Commonwealth University water polo goalie Greg Schmelling as their first-round pick.

Reactions around the NFL to the choice ranged from CBS’s Jason LaCanfora calling it “maybe a typo or something” to ESPN’s Mel Kiper grading it a “Mongolian clusterf–k of a draft pick.”

Seahawks General Manager John Schneider said of the pick, “We like to think outside the box, and Greg was there at the top of our draft board, ahead of even the punter we want to convert to a left tackle and that guy who works at the QFC who would make a great nickel corner.” Seahawks coach Pete Carroll added, “Compete compete compete positivity Trident White.”

The New Zealand-born Schmelling had not declared for the NFL draft and, according to his Facebook profile, had already returned to Wellington to begin his planned career as an urban planner. Reached for comment, he said “This is a great honor but especially surprising since I am just a catfishing online identity created by two bored teenage girls in Croatia.”